Crazy Headlines

Sometimes the headline writers just get it wrong, with hilarious results.

Here are a few of my favourites:

Miners Refuse to Work after Death     Lazy bunch!

Sheffield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide   No! Really!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says   I’ll say.

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers     That should get rid of them.

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted      Smack!

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case        Tight fit.

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents          Revenge?

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over   Above and beyond the call of duty.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant      If that doesn’t work, string him up!

High School Drop-outs Cut in Half           Bit drastic!

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter    Damn, and I thought my local Tesco’s was slow.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges     Wow, gotta get me some of that stuff.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks    I still prefer a Mars bar